It’s time to go where many men (and women) have gone before. Having anal sex or even anal play for the inexperienced bottom may be exciting, scary, and nerve-wracking. What do you do to make sure the butt sex goes well? Read on to start preparing for anal sex, my friend.

Preparing For Anal Sex Goes a Long Way

The key to great anal sex and anal play is making sure that you’ve properly prepared yourself in several areas. Internally, externally, and mentally. Let’s start internally.

What Not to Eat

The process of preparing for anal sex works the best well before your partner shows up. It starts with the foods you eat. The anus, rectum, and colon are all a part of the digestive tract. So it’s best to coordinate what goes inside your mouth to make sure that everything on the other end is okay. Eating foods high in fiber, or taking fiber supplements, will make bowel movements much more solid. Meaning that, once you’re cleared out, you won’t have to worry about making a mess on the sheets. Eating greasy food or a diet low in fiber, however, can put you at a higher risk of causing an accident. Eat like a bottom, enjoy sex like a bottom.

Preparing For Anal Sex: Fiber Rich Foods

On a similar note… Avoid foods that come out sharp. Such as nuts and seeds, as a few stragglers might hurt your top or worse, break your condom. Spicy foods are also a no-no, as they can cause irritation to the anus and give you an unpleasant time. Save that Chipotle date for after he’s spent the night.

Douche it Out

The next step in preparing for anal sex is the anal douche. Even if you’ve had a bowel movement, you might still want to make sure your anal canal cleaned out. An anal douche (also called an enema) will cleanse your rectum. Making sure that there will be no embarrassing fecal matter or stains during the carnal romp. Read our anal douche guide if you’re new to douching or want to know more.

Preparing For Anal Sex: Bulb Douche

Alright, you’re now set internally, thanks to that enema. Making sure your bowels are squeaky clean. Let’s now set the mood for when beau first comes over.

Being relaxed is a big part of enjoying and preparing for anal sex. Here are some tips that can help you and your partner relax…

Create a Scene

Creating a sexy scene will put both of you at ease, calming nerves and relaxing your bodies. Some nice music. Stress-relieving incense. Even a glass of wine can help better prepare you for the big moment. That’s what it all comes down to: being as relaxed as possible for both your brain and your ass.

Have an Orgasm First

Yas gurl! Orgasms are great at relaxing your entire body, including the rectum muscles. Calming you down and making you feel pleasant afterwards. But don’t fall asleep! While you’re relaxed from that nice blowjob or handy he just gave you… there’s more to do to make sure you’re as prepped as possible for anal.

Get a Rim Job

Not everyone will be down to stick their tongue down there. But it’s the best way to ensure that the anus is calmed and loosened. Your partner’s saliva will lube the area. The direct pleasure from getting a rim job will mean that you’re more ready to be penetrated. The anus is filled with sensitive nerve endings. Meaning it feels great to get a rim job. You’re doing a great service by bottoming. You deserve it.

Preparing For Anal Sex: Pjur Back Door Anal Lube

Lube Like You’ve Never Lubed Before

Now, you’re fed, relaxed, and clean. The next step in preparing for anal sex is getting lubed up. The anus doesn’t produce its own lubricant like the vagina or mouth. Which means that you’ll have to supply that yourself. Silicone lubricant is the most preferred. They last longer, are typically thicker, and will require less reapplication during sex. However, if you have the time and can splurge on a product, get a specifically designed anal lube. It will make anal penetration much, much better. Its a thicker consistency that’s made to increase comfort during anal sex. Not sure which anal lube to try? Check out our list of the best anal lubes.

Start Small

Have your partner insert a finger or a toy into your anus first. A butt plug or dildo works great. The anal play helps stretch out your sphincter muscle. Causing it to relax more. Think about what you’re feeling and how relaxed your sphincter is. Your first reaction to something going up there will be to clench. But you have to tell yourself to relax for it to be a better experience. Just sit back and let the pleasure come.

Start Slow

Once you’ve had your fun with toys, now is time for him to insert his penis. He should have lubed himself up as well, allowing for an easy glide that feels pleasurable to you. His thrusts should be slow and deliberate, letting you adjust to his feelings. From then on, you can slowly increase the speed and strength.

Preparing For Anal Sex: Communicate


If something doesn’t feel right, tell him immediately. Your comfort and safety are the most important. It’s okay to stop, re-lube if you need it, or even go back to fingers and toys if you think you’re not ready enough. Bottoming may be nerve-wracking the first time. You should make sure you’re as ready as you can be before penetration. Tell him to slow down, go softer, or whatever else you think you need at the moment. You should never experience pain during safe, consensual anal sex.

Change Positions

Start in a position where you control the penetration. Like kneeling or squatting on top. It can make you feel much more comfortable since you have more power over how you (and he) feels. That way, you can more easily do what you need to do to have a better bottoming experience.

Be Prepared to Stop and Try Again Later

Even if after all that you find that you’re just not enjoying anal sex, immediately stop. You can always try again later. Take some time to explore on your own. Figuring out what you need to do to make bottoming more enjoyable and keep your butt happy. Play with fingers or toys on your own time, and take what you learn into the bedroom the next time he comes over. As well as feeling phenomenal, anal is all about learning yourself and how you operate.


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There you have it—some great tips and tricks on how to prep for your first time having anal sex. Go you! You can now have your partner over and not fear messy sheets or painful sex. You can go out with renewed confidence. Your first time will as fun-filled as possible. Soon enough you’ll be a pro at prepping—and a pro in between the sheets. Be sure to check out our list of best anal lubes.